Divorce Information

Preparing for A Custody Battle

Contested custody battles are not pleasant. They can be emotional, difficult to navigate, and have serious consequences. Because these proceedings have such "high stakes," taking steps to prepare yourself can improve the likelihood of a positive outcome. Preparation is important. Not only will preparation help your case, it will also help you remain calm, feel knowledgeable about the process, and avoid mistakes that could hurt your standing with the court. Much of your case will depend on your track record as a parent, however, you can take steps to prepare for your custody trial. Review this list, and do everything in your power to enter the courtroom with confidence and a well-established case.

Attire

Dressing appropriately for the courtroom should never be overlooked. It may seem simple (or common sense), but many people don't consider how much their appearance can play a role in these matters. How you look affects the judge's first impression, and you usually only get one first impression. While there are many, many factors at play, the appearance you present to the judge will influence their decisions - even if they aren't entirely aware of it. Focus on professional, dark colored clothing. Avoid casual attire, sneakers, open-toed shoes, patterned clothing, and so on. Your "dress clothes" should project an image of stability, maturity, and seriousness. In other words, treat it like a job interview so your attire makes a good impression. If new dress clothes are out of your budget, consider borrowing some from a friend or family member. You can also explore thrift stores for gently used courtroom attire at more affordable prices. Just remember, you don't need an expensive suit, you just make sure you look serious and professional.

Documentation

Before you ever set foot in the courtroom, get all of your documentation in order. These documents will vary widely from case to case, but the need for organization applies in every single instance. Bring multiple copies of important documents. Come prepared with detailed questions. Know what you're presenting, and make sure every detail is accounted for. If you have to shuffle through papers, are missing exhibits, etc., it immediately hurts your credibility. The more prepared your documentation is, the more you show the judge that you take this matter very seriously. Being organized indicates responsibility, the ability to follow through, and attention to detail - all qualities the judge is looking for in a custody case. If you are represented by an attorney, be sure to provide all the documents to your attorney well before your hearing so they have an opportunity to prepare. It also helps to be organized for your attorney. You want your lawyer spending time preparing your case, not organizing your paperwork.

Etiquette

Like the previous two topics, courtroom etiquette is all about first impressions and presenting credibility. This goes well beyond how you dress. Don't interrupt, know when you're supposed to stand or sit, and treat everyone around you with respect. Answer questions directly, without offering unrelated anecdotes or opinions. Again, be respectful. Your attorney can help you get familiar with courtroom etiquette. Be sure to ask your lawyer any questions you may have before you enter the courtroom.

Know The Laws

Much like preparing your documentation, questions, and requests in advance, get familiar with the custody laws in your state. Not only will this help you communicate with your attorney and the judge, you'll also know more about what to expect from the rulings. Do some diligent research well before you enter the courtroom, and you can have a better handle on the terminology, your rights, what laws directly affect your case, and so much more. Your attorney should help you better understand the law as it applies to your case, but if something is not clear ask your lawyer questions! All of this information combines to help you feel as comfortable as possible, have realistic expectations, and gain a deeper understanding of the entire process.

Prepare Emotionally

Divorce, custody, dividing assets, and going to court for it can be a trying, emotional experience. To make sure you're practicing proper courtroom etiquette, creating an impression of stability, and putting your best foot forward, prepare yourself for the emotional impact of the proceedings. This may mean mentally walking through the day, confronting any resentment you may have toward the other party, practicing anger management, and coming to terms with the gravity of the whole situation. You might not be able to fully control your emotions, but you can control acting upon them. Outbursts, strong language, disrespectful behavior, and even lack of overall composure can do irreparable damage to your case. Do everything you can to keep your emotions in check during this difficult time. Your custody case will look at many elements of your parenting, your relationship with the kids, your career, and so much more. These elements aren't likely to change drastically in the weeks and months leading up to your custody battle (though you can make efforts to improve). You can, however, take steps to prepare specifically for the courtroom, to make a great impression on the judge, and to be knowledgeable about all of the legal subjects at hand. Preparation can be the difference between careful consideration from a judge and a bad first impression that influences their opinion. Follow these tips, consult with your attorney, do your research, and be prepared!