Divorce Information

Pros and Cons of Social Media During Divorce

Social media is now a part of daily life. Whether you use it for business, to connect with friends and family, or just for fun - it's everywhere! People from all walks of life use various platforms, with both positive and negative effects. But what about couples going through a divorce? Social media can have an even deeper effect on people going through such a difficult time, both for better and for worse. The presence of these technologies in a modern divorce are almost a given, but it's important to understand how they can help - or hurt - your case.

Cons

Let's start with the downsides. These may be fairly obvious, but the more you can anticipate, the easier these problems are to handle.

Painful Pictures

While it's important to look at divorce from a legal perspective, there's no getting around the emotional components. Most divorces are tinged with sadness and anger, and the people involved may be feeling vulnerable. Social media makes this worse because of shared pictures, memories, and posts. Whether it's seeing your ex and their new partner looking happy, or a Facebook memory that pops up reminding you of better times, photos can strike painful chords that make people focus on the emotional side, instead of the process at hand.

Digging

Social media platforms give us the opportunity to obsess. If your feeling nostalgic, you may start sifting through old posts and photos. Similarly, you might feel compelled to "check-up" on your ex, looking at their profiles too often and dragging yourself through emotional pain.

Stirring Up Trouble

Many of us are used to sharing details of our personal lives, but if you start oversharing about the divorce, bashing your spouse, or even discussing the topic with your friends in a public way, you're likely stirring up drama that doesn't help the process. These types of posts can prompt bad advice from family members, offend mutual friends, invite unwanted comments, and so on. It's ok to keep your network informed of what's going on your life, but be careful about the level of detail you choose to provide.

Think of The Kids

If you have children, especially older children with social media profiles of their own, they can see anything you post. If you're sharing the details of custody division, assets, or even just updates about the proceedings, you're pulling them into the divorce almost without their consent. Instead of letting the kids learn about your divorce through social media, have direct conversations with them. The other approach can leave them feeling resentful and disconnected - the last thing you want during this already difficult time.

The Wrong Image

Your photos and posts tell a story, but usually not a complete one. Even if you're a great parent, an Instagram account full of party photos is not a good look. If your Twitter account is full of aggressive content, it doesn't present you as a calm, rational person...This is a lesson for more than just divorcing couples. The image you portray (intentionally or not) affects the way others see you.

Pros

Social media can also provide some benefits during your divorce, especially in contested, troublesome scenarios. These things may not ring true in every case, but if the circumstances fit, you'll be glad social media exists!

Incriminating Evidence

This is the big one. So many people post to their social media accounts absent-mindedly, and it can come back to haunt them. If your divorce is related to infidelity, dishonesty, substance abuse, etc., social media can provide key evidence for your case. From status updates to photos with location data, social profiles become a record of where we've been, who we're with, and so on. It may not tell a complete story, but the data doesn't lie.

Support Systems

One of the greatest things about the internet is the ability to connect with like-minded people around the world. During difficult times, support from others can make a world of difference, even if that support is coming from virtual strangers. Support groups for domestic violence, substance abuse, emotional abuse, infidelity, and more are readily available - along with empowering stories of people who have overcome the experiences you're currently going through. Now, it still stands that oversharing is dangerous. You may not want to divulge your entire personal life, and remember that any advice you receive should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, social media (particularly private groups or group messages) may allow you to get things off your chest, gain support, and move forward.

Verify Your Character

Just as negligent behavior can be evidence in a divorce proceeding, elements of your social media accounts can also be used to show your stability, compassion, dedication, and so on.If your character is being called into question, the contents of your messages can help you make your case. Similarly, photos of you participating in activities with the kids, volunteering at their schools, and so on can go a long way in establishing your credibility. The same goes for professional development, community service, and beyond. It's difficult to fully understand the impact social media is having on our lives. At the moment, it's simply part of our daily reality. It's likely going to be at least a small part of your divorce because it's such a ubiquitous form of communication. Know what to expect, be aware of what you post, and if you can, use these powerful tools to your advantage!