Divorce Information

How to Know it's Time for Divorce

Making the decision to file for divorce can be extremely difficult. It's a tumultuous time, and taking such a big step is often met with hesitation. You may question whether or not you're doing the right thing.

Of course, in cases of frequent infidelity, abuse, and other major problems, the decision to divorce may come easy. In many other cases, though, small issues stack up over time and leave couples wondering what the best decision may be.

To help you make a more informed choice about the state of your marriage (and whether to continue it), we've collected some telltale signs that you may wish to consider.

1. Different Values

If you and your spouse can't seem to get on the same page about your values, no matter how many discussions you have, it might be an indicator that it's time to move on from the marriage.

This relates to finances, healthy lifestyles, parenting, politics, and so much more. If you don't see the world in the same (or at least similar) ways, it's going to be hard to agree on many aspects of your marriage.

Even worse, if your conflicting values are constantly leading to arguments that never get resolved, it might be time to consider splitting up.

2. Constant Negativity

If tension and negativity characterize most of your interactions, your marriage may be in trouble. Arguing from time to time is one thing, but if there's little or no positivity to be found, you may be better off apart.

You'll have to judge the severity of the situation yourself. It's definitely possible to overcome this problem for some couples. However, if you see no relief from ongoing tension, bickering, and criticism, you're only hurting each other by staying married.

3. It's All About The Kids

Centering routines, conversations, and interactions on parenting (not your relationship) is a strong warning sign that you're checked out of the romantic part of your relationship.

Parenting is important, but if you're going to have a successful marriage, that can't be the only thing keeping you together. If you have no interest in spending time together - or even being a couple - outside of coparenting, you're not doing yourselves or the kids any favors.

A strained marriage for the sake of the children is still a strained marriage. If you're not connected, the kids can tell. Don't force the relationship because you think it's best for them. In many cases, it isn't.

4. Trouble With Intimacy

There's no delicate way to say this. Sex is an important part of marriage. It helps couples stay mentally and physically connected. If you're having trouble in this arena, and your efforts to improve things aren't successful, it could be a sign that your marriage is nearing its end.

Again, this is something you'll have examine for yourself. A few problems don't doom the marriage. If you've been working on it with no success, however, divorce may be your next step.

5. Lonely, Even Together

One of the biggest telltale signs is feeling lonely even when spending time with your partner. If you feel isolated, disconnected, and alone in the presence of your spouse, it shows just how checked out the relationship you are.

These feelings mean that you've damaged your emotional connection. This affects all other aspects of the marriage. You may turn to others, like friends and coworkers, for support. This further takes you out of the marital connection. If you don't want to try to repair - or don't feel particularly worried - you're probably already headed for divorce.

6. Nothing Helps

All marriages face difficult and rocky times. That doesn't mean the marriage is over. Many couples find ways to get through the difficult times to help their marriage grow, commonly through counseling. If you have already taken steps to save the marriage, like meeting with counselors or some other support network, it might be time for a divorce.

We encourage you to take every reasonable step possible to save your marriage. If you have decided it's time we can help guide you through the process.