Divorce Information

7 Common Divorce Mistakes to Avoid

Divorce can be difficult to navigate. With the emotional gravity of the situation, financial concerns, custody, and so much more to consider, there's plenty that can go wrong if you aren't being strategic.Legal expertise can certainly offer guidance, but having an idea of what you want, how to proceed, and what to avoid will make the entire process more manageable. The more prepared you are, the better.With that in mind, let's look at some of the most common divorce mistakes - so you can avoid making them.

1. Refusing to Compromise

In nearly every divorce case, there is going to be some difference of opinion. You might not always see eye to eye, but by refusing to make concessions or find middle ground, you create roadblocks that delay progress. This doesn't mean that you can't negotiate, or that your concerns are less important than the other party's, just that being open to compromise is critical if you want to avoid a long, drawn out process and unnecessary conflict. Take the other person's needs into consideration as much as possible, and be willing to find solutions that are going to work for everyone. Keep in mind the court will try to find a equitable or fair resolution to the case, not choose a winner or a loser. If you go into it without recognizing the give and take aspect to divorce, you will just feel like you are the one losing.

2. Overlooking Taxes

Regardless of how assets are separated, there are likely to be tax implications of your new financial situation. You'll want to pay close attention to changes in mortgage payments, assets in your name, investments, and beyond. Be sure to ask your attorney for help tracking things, and if you work with a financial advisor or tax professional, keep them informed as any changes are finalized. Because individual finances seem "separate" from divorce proceedings, many people neglect to adjust tax documents to reflect these changes, and end up facing unexpected difficulties at tax time.

3. Operating From Emotion

While the divorce itself is a legal proceeding, there's an undeniably emotional component to ending a marriage, deciding on child custody, and even dividing items with sentimental value. Because of this reality, emotions can run hot. While no one can ask you not to feel, it's important to keep your emotions in check, especially when faced with a disagreement. Remember that a divorce is meant to handle the legal side of things, not resolve the issues in the relationship. You are handling the "business" of your marriage, so make it a business decision, not a personal one. If you let your emotions get the best of you, you may say things you regret, make hasty decisions, or cause disruptions that only hurt the divorce process and put you at a disadvantage.

4. Inaccurate Information

Gaps in financial information, missing asset documentation, and so on will all delay, complicate, or even stall divorce proceedings. To appropriately divide assets, your legal team needs complete and accurate information, no matter how minor. Whether accidental or intentional, an omission of information is one of the primary reasons divorces take longer than they need to, cost more than anticipated, and don't yield results that both parties are happy with. As you move forward with your divorce, be diligent in reviewing all records, gathering all documents, and providing every bit of information you can.

5. Being Combative

Like being overly emotional, taking a combative approach to your divorce will only cause more problems. If you're going after the other party to punish them, to get even, or other similar reason (and not with the express purpose of dividing assets and dissolving the marriage in legal terms), you're going to create unnecessary tension - and likely make poor choices. It's simply the wrong approach. For the smoothest possible process, try to look for common goals, be patient, and treat the divorce as negotiation - not a battle. There is a difference between protecting your interests in a negotiation and refusing to negotiate to spite the other person.

6. Letting The Kids Suffer

If you're not making a concerted effort to keep the children's best interest in mind, you may make decisions that negatively affect them in the long run. Think about what's best for them while discussing custody and property, and remember that their needs should be your primary concern. Divorces are already unpleasant for most kids, and if you aren't taking great care to plan for their future, you may very well cause undue stress for them.

7. Assuming Your Former Spouse Will Be Fair

Just because you are taking steps to avoid these mistakes, it doesn't mean the other party will. Take the high road and don't succumb to threats, emotional jabs, or aggression - but also be prepared for such behavior. In an ideal situation, you'll both be civil, but you can't guarantee it. Make a plan for how to react, speak with your lawyer about any concerns you may have, and do everything in your power to maintain your composure, regardless of the other person's actions. Acting fair and respectful, doesn't mean you need to give everything away at the negotiation table. Every divorce is going to be different, but if you can keep these mistakes in mind as you begin the process, you're more likely to get through it quickly. Do your research, focus on providing accurate and detailed information to your attorney, and above all, don't let the emotional side of this difficult time lead to even more trouble.